Yeah, I'm not liking this voice change thing. Sora is supposed to sound like Sora, dammit. And Kairi's supposed to sound like Kairi! What's next, Riku goes through puberty too? Well, whatever, head to the Sandlot. Ahaha, palooka, I thought I was the only one who used that word. Aw man, we can't beat up on the big palooka. You know how much I like kicking his ass. Well, head to the station (buy some potions along the way ey?) Jeeze, there's a crapload of enemies, and none of them are dropping anything but MP balls. I want munny dammit! ^>__<^ Well, no matter how well you're doing, you still all end up pretty much passing out. And then King Mickey busts a move just like Yoda in Star Wars. All hail King Mickey!

Well, you just got the 5k from a long long time ago. Buy some more potions if you'd like, then get on the train (talk to Donald to do so). Man, this is depressing. Everybody forgot about Roxas. Poor guy. I was beginning to like him. Well, such is the fate of a Nobody I guess... being absorbed into Sora and all... :o(

Anyway. Walk up to the tower and see what's up (open the chests along the way for a Potion, a Hi-Potion, and an Ether). ... Maleficent?! Don't tell me she's back, too? Seriously, what, all the bad guys have infinate lives or somethin? Hmm, seems y'all know eachother. Well, time to fight some shadows. ... dude, if I had the Ultima Keyblade these guys would be toast. I mean, what, did Sora lose all of his Keyblades while he was asleep? Along with all of his abilities? That's sad. (well, actually, in KH: CoM, being inside Castle Oblivion makes people forget stuff, but that doesn't explain why all of his Keyblades are now gone... I blame Marluxia)

Open the chests near the SP for an Ether and a Mythril Shard, then head up the stairs. Now, this part is kinda like in KH: CoM where you have to fight your way to the top of the tower, but don't worry there's no nasty boss monster waiting forya at the end of each floor. At the top, you finally meet the great Yen Sid. ... looks kinda like a flashier version of Merlin, don't he? Well, the book doesn't have much of anything to say really, cept some fancy mumbo-jumbo. Talk to Yen Sid afterwards. He explains that, since there is darkness in every heart, the Heartless are still around. He then clues you in on yer enemies. ... seems Sora has forgotten everything that happened in KH: CoM... Anyway. The chest just has a map of the area. I don't find these maps very useful (they appear at the top of the screen). Go through the door to find the faeries. Talk to the red one (don't forget the Mythril Stone inside the chest) and, after much colour-changing, you finally get your new clothes. Now here's the really fun part. Dual Keyblades! Kickass! (must be cause of Roxas' influence and such) Well, go back through the door to see Yen Sid again. He's got your gummi ship! Hurray! (and cool, the movie knows whether or not you're in Valor form) Uh oh... see? Seeeeee?! Infinite lives for bad guys! This game is out to give me an aneurysm...

Well, look, it's Hollow Bastion. ... ^x__x^ Ummmm... wasn't that the hardest level in KH? And we're going there first?? Oooh boy... yay a Moogle! OK, re-equip equipment (I seem to have gotten stuck with the Elven Bandanna for some unknown reason), and how come Goofy gets two spots for equipment and we only get one? well, go down the steps and hang a left to reach some shops. I recommend spending some of that hard-earned cash on new weapons for Donald and Goofy, and then potions with whatever's left over. Talk to the Moogle to get an Elixir, then approach the duck nearby. Hi Uncle Scrooge! Talk to him to find out that Leon and co. are at Merlin's house. Hmm, so Merlin decided to move his grand ould house ey? (you can buy potions at the shop next to the Moogle) Go into the next area for a scene. OK, after fighting the Dusks look to your left. There's a type of step formation going up to the left. Go around it and jump onto the pipe, then jump up to the top. The chest contains an AP boost, and the one farther down on the right has a Drive Recovery. Try using Valor form as much as possible to level it up. There's a Mythril Shard all the way at the end and on the right. Jump down to the lower level and go forwards for a Tent. Right outside Merlin's house is a Hi-Potion. Get it and go through the door.

Oh jeeze, they changed Earisu (Aeris/Aerith)'s voice too? (guess they couldn't get Mandy Moore for the sequel) And Cid sounds like a hillbilly. ^x__o^;; Whoever is doing Earisu's voice now sounds pretty... emotionless. C'mon, once more, this time with feeling! ^>__<^ She also sounds like she has a cold. *poof* It's Merlin! ... yes yes, Sora's forgotten his magic too, along with everything else, while he was asleep. Oh, and by "a few spells" he means just Blizzard by the way. Not too helpful. ... not that I use magic much anyway. Talk to Yuffie to find out how to get to the Bailey. Basically, go through into the area you couldn't get into earlier, the one near where you got the Mythril Shard earlier. Aaaah, voices! I'm hearing voices again! OK, this next section is an absolute mess. Basically it's just you and Leon vs a crapload of Nobodies. Funny, sticks don't work on Nobodies, but Leon's sword does? Leon kicks ass, btw, so don't worry too much about this fight. It's just hectic. You get Fire after the fight. Yay! More talk and no action from the Organization, and this guy gets on my nerves. Too bad he's too chicken to fight us. Hey, look, Leon actually smiled. Heheh. Well, so much for the membership card and Twilight Town. ... so... what happened to Hayner and the others? Don't tell me they're all dead too. Jeeze, what's the death count at now, fifty?

OK, well, choose a gate (doesn't matter which one, we're gonna come right back and open the other one in a minute). Basically just keep button-mashing the X button to get through these things. Jeeze, these things are intense! When you get to a big yellow thingy with a bunch of arms that looks like Kurt Zisa, aim for the arms! Whenyer done, fly back to the other gate and do it all over again. Hoi. OK, choose the stage at the top, since it's battle lv 10 and the other is lv 13.

Augh, the world is on fire! *blames Axel the pyro* Wait wait wait... oh, right, Mushu was a summons in KH. Hard to remember that, he's so little! *pokes the tiny dragon* Mulan's male-voice still sounds female to me... ha, she even walks like a girl. Swingy sway-ey hips and all that. Well, she joins your party... I'd pick Donald if I were you. The chests behind you contain an Ether, a Mythril Shard, and a Hi-Potion. Enter the encampment to watch Mulan walk funny. w00t, a brawl! Dogpile on the ugly guy! Oops, not in front of the captain, you guys. ^<__<^;; Oh goody, a distraction. OK, for this fight, do the exact opposite of the Struggle matches. Spend your time collecting orbs while your other party members kill off the baddies. And, as expected, Mulan sucks. I guess her father didn't teach her anything about swordfighting... Well, the captain gives you an assignment. There's nothing inside the camp, so just talk to him again to get a mission. First ones first, of course.

This one's just like the encampment battle. Run around collecting orbs while Mulan does virtually nothing and Donald does all the work. Next up is The Ambush. Holy crap, this one's horrid. Mulan, of course, is frickin useless. Collect orbs while the regular enemies are out. Switch to attack when the big guys with swords show up. Ouch, they hit hard. OK, last one, The Search. Oh man, not only does she not do anything, when she actually tries to attack, she falls down flat on her face. She's klutzier than Sailor Moon! Anyway, this one is fortunately easier than the second one. You get an AP boost for finishing all three.

I'd recommend saving, then going back for that last assignment. You're to clear the summit. OK, leave by the exit in front of the captain. The chests in this area contain a Mythril Shard and a Hi-Potion. Blow up the cart directly in front of where you came in from to unblock the entrance to the next area. OK, basically hurry the heck up the mountain and screw the bad guys. Go to each wall you find and press triangle like mad to break them down. The last wall has one of those sword dudes in front of it. Lure him away from the wall, then run in and attack the wall to get through to the next area. ... what she's made of? Hmph, don't make me laugh. Most useless and worthless character ever.

Go outside and enter the cave near the yellow dude. The chest contains a Hi-Potion. Break the carts and you uncover a chest with an AP Boost inside. Go into the next area... oh no. Don't tell me. You and Mulan. All by yourselves. ... you know what that means, don'tCHA? It's just you and me, pal. And you're doing all the grunt work while Mulan files her nails or some such nonsense. Basically, go after the big sword guy, and kill the Shadows when you're low on HP cause they drop HP balls. Fortunately, the Shadows blow up after just one hit. Don't bother locking on with Shadows, just swing wildly. With this many you're bound to pop a few of em with each swing. After the massive insurgence of Shadows finally dies, two sword dudes show up. Basically, try luring one away from the other one, land a few hits on him, run back, then when it looks like he's just standing there, run in again, land a few hits, run back, lather, rinse, repeat. Then do the same thing with the other one. And if this idiot would stop running into me while I'm trying to heal myself I could heal. Stupid game.

Yeah, yeah, lay on the praise even though she didn't do jack. She wasn't even a good meatshield. ... and why is Goofy in my party now? Head to the village and... woah. Utter devastation. Ha, the moogle's still alive though. The chests in the Ridge area contain a Hi-Potion and an AP Boost. Continue towards the summit. Woah. All by your lonesome? Well, it's not like Mulan was any help... but jeeze. There's a timer, so just try not to die. Well, to give Mulan at least some credit, she did think up the avalanche thing all by herself, although she almost killed the captain in the process. ^<__<^;; Uh oh, looks like the secret's out, thanks to big-mouth Mushu. Finally, we can kick Mulan the loser out of the party! Thank Shinigamisama for small favours. Hrm... looks like her brilliant idea didn't work after all. You know, Donald, she didn't look boyish in the first place. On your way back down the mountain trail just run through the sword guys. Hang a left when you can and jump up onto the rocks and open the chest quick, then continue your headlong dash down the trail. Go through the doorway right in front of you to enter into a scene. So much for the army.

Go for the big guys! These big guys do a lot of damage, so be careful. If you get low on HP, run away and wait for somebody to heal you, then run back in. Get to the palace!


Boss: Shan-Yu, Hayabusa (bird), wave of Nobodies
HP: Shan-Yu: 442, Hayabusa: 102
Strength: Shan-Yu: 12, Hayabusa: 12
Defense: Shan-Yu: 6, Hayabusa: 6
Attacks: spinning sword attack
Bonuses: Aerial Sweep (Sora), HP up (Sora +5, Donald +4, Mulan +20), Goofy Turbo (Goofy), Hidden Dragon Keyblade
My current level: 12

OK, here's the deal with this fight. You have to pick up orbs to keep the gate's HP up while beating the shit out of a bird that keeps flying around in huge fast circles and up out of reach while a bunch of really strong Nobodies and Shan-Yu attack you. ... good freaking luck to you good sir, cause that's what this battle takes. A whole lotta luck. And you can't switch targets. Is it just me or was KH much better? At least the battles made sense, and none of this stupid orb nonsense.

OK, OK, so there's more to it than luck. At the beginning, just pick up orbs while the Nobodies are out. Let Donald and Goofy take care of them. When they're gone, find the bird and Lock-on to him. Killing the bird drops gate orbs. Then focus on Shan-Yu and use triangle when prompted. The bird respawns after awhile. If you need more orbs, take him down, then go back to Shan-Yu. Go into Valant form to finish him off.

Whelp, after that annoying fight is over, everybody praises Mulan yet again. *sigh* She wasn't even in my party... ^<__<^;; Shan-Yu's sword begins to glow, and another gate is discovered. Might as well go unlock that gate. Personally, I need some senseless blowing things up to recover from that annoying world. Wow, this one's hard. And long. Well, we're not going to the Coliseum yet, so just go to the other world you unlocked earlier, Beast's Castle.